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Written by Kelly
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Friday, 03 October 2008 21:08 |
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Well, it's been a little more than a month since I have returned to work. It has been such a huge adjustment. I hated the fact that I had to leave my children. I hated that I was going to miss all of the things that I missed with Logan due to my illness. I vowed not to miss one second of Evie, but here I was going back to work. I hated myself for leaving. I resented that Brad was able to stay with them even though he had been away for so long. The time was good for him and the kids. He really needed that time to be with his children. The first few weeks were SO HARD. It was even more difficult because of the year I had last year. I wanted to go hide in a corner. I wanted to quit my job and be with my kids myself. I hated that I was at work every day. I hated getting up in the morning and walking out the door. I hated hearing about all of the wonderful things that Evie and Logan had done during the day while I was away. Slowly though, things got better and better. I started to actually enjoy my job. I was disgusted with myself for enjoying my job. It did make leaving easier. I just wanted to be with my kids though. Now we are over a month into school. I am feeling much better about where I am. . I appreciate the fact that Brad has had all of this time with Evie and Logan. I appreciate my time with my kids that much more. I love my job. I love my kids. I love my husband. I just hope that I am able to love myself here soon.
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I am working on the "love yourself" thing too!!!